When I was in college and had a girlfriend, I heard my peers casually call me a LUG -- "lesbian until graduation." At the time, it didn't bother me. I knew I was surrounded by a group of open, like-minded people who had a baseline understanding of sexual fluidity. They may have believed that my attraction to women was temporary, an exploration attributed to attending a women's college. But there was still a shared fundamental understanding that, obviously, sexuality is far more nuanced than "lesbian until graduation" allows.
Following graduation, I realized my passivity towards my bisexual identity in college left me ill-equipped for the reality check afforded to me by the real world.
In the real world, we have no way of knowing our peers and colleagues' baseline knowledge of human sexuality. The only means available to communicate our identities other than through explicit confirmation are the casual opportunities we have at the watercooler, sharing about our weekends with colleagues, the small talk that slowly reveal our lives outside of work. Aspects of our personal life will inevitably bleed into our professional life as workplace culture is one that is interactive. The fear here is how negative stereotypes and misperceptions of bisexuality will negatively affect the professional progress of someone like me.
I'm not the only one who has these experiences.
Data have consistently demonstrated that, compared to others in the LGBT community, bisexuals are far less likely to have their orientation acknowledged in a positive way by someone at work. HRC's own Cost of the Closet and the Rewards of Inclusion shows that biphobia can also take form in seemingly innocuous ways: 43 percent of people report that they hear jokes about bisexual people in the workplace. A joke can be just as offensive and just as effective at creating a hostile work environment as exclusive language and discriminatory comments. It can also be a very good indicator of the workplace culture.
There are two issues at play here. The first is the widespread tendency to dismiss bisexuality, chalking it up to indecisiveness. The second is the millennial spirit of acceptance for men and women coming out as gay and lesbian. I don't mean to imply that acceptance is something we should move away from. What I am suggesting is that we be cautious about denying those who don't live on the gay/lesbian spectrum sexual agency in the spirit of acceptance. If a man is dating another man but identifies as bisexual, it is assumed that he is really just struggling with internalized homophobia left over from a bygone era.
Furthermore, you can't "tell" who is bisexual or not. Unlike my visible identity as a woman of color, I often find myself having a sexual orientation assigned to me; assumed by coworkers depending on the given context. While this may seem minor, there are real psychological implications of unconsciously -- or worse, consciously -- conceding agency over your identity to others.
To some, being bisexual isn't a big part of their identity. To some, it is. However, every person should have the right to decide whether or not this composes a significant portion of their identity.
In hopes of squashing the persistent stereotype of millennials never seeing a thought to its final conclusion, I'd like to offer up some concrete solutions to this problem:
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Following graduation, I realized my passivity towards my bisexual identity in college left me ill-equipped for the reality check afforded to me by the real world.
In the real world, we have no way of knowing our peers and colleagues' baseline knowledge of human sexuality. The only means available to communicate our identities other than through explicit confirmation are the casual opportunities we have at the watercooler, sharing about our weekends with colleagues, the small talk that slowly reveal our lives outside of work. Aspects of our personal life will inevitably bleed into our professional life as workplace culture is one that is interactive. The fear here is how negative stereotypes and misperceptions of bisexuality will negatively affect the professional progress of someone like me.
I'm not the only one who has these experiences.
Data have consistently demonstrated that, compared to others in the LGBT community, bisexuals are far less likely to have their orientation acknowledged in a positive way by someone at work. HRC's own Cost of the Closet and the Rewards of Inclusion shows that biphobia can also take form in seemingly innocuous ways: 43 percent of people report that they hear jokes about bisexual people in the workplace. A joke can be just as offensive and just as effective at creating a hostile work environment as exclusive language and discriminatory comments. It can also be a very good indicator of the workplace culture.
There are two issues at play here. The first is the widespread tendency to dismiss bisexuality, chalking it up to indecisiveness. The second is the millennial spirit of acceptance for men and women coming out as gay and lesbian. I don't mean to imply that acceptance is something we should move away from. What I am suggesting is that we be cautious about denying those who don't live on the gay/lesbian spectrum sexual agency in the spirit of acceptance. If a man is dating another man but identifies as bisexual, it is assumed that he is really just struggling with internalized homophobia left over from a bygone era.
Furthermore, you can't "tell" who is bisexual or not. Unlike my visible identity as a woman of color, I often find myself having a sexual orientation assigned to me; assumed by coworkers depending on the given context. While this may seem minor, there are real psychological implications of unconsciously -- or worse, consciously -- conceding agency over your identity to others.
To some, being bisexual isn't a big part of their identity. To some, it is. However, every person should have the right to decide whether or not this composes a significant portion of their identity.
In hopes of squashing the persistent stereotype of millennials never seeing a thought to its final conclusion, I'd like to offer up some concrete solutions to this problem:
- Don't just pay lip service to bisexuals. Recognize that this is a legitimate portion of the population. In other words, the forgotten middle child, the B in LGBT is there for a reason.
- Educate yourself. Look up common misperceptions and see if you currently prescribe to those biases.
- Don't assume. You will be surprised at the number of assumptions that manifest themselves in workplace interactions, and the unintended ripple effects these assumptions have for your best and brightest entering the workforce.
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