This is going to be a vulnerable piece of writing. Brené Brown has taught me that vulnerability is something most of us try to avoid at all costs. Because it makes us susceptible to criticism and ultimately to being judged and hurt. But today I will choose vulnerability over the need to be right, approved of or loved.
As the end of the year is nearing it feels only natural to contemplate on what was, and focus on what may be. I say maybe because, a lot of us write down our list of resolutions for the coming year, yet a lot of them remain unfulfilled dreams yet to go on our list of "resolutions" a year later.
The other day when I was having one of those moments of contemplation again I realized that I hadn't achieved a lot of the goals I set myself for 2015. I wanted 2015 to be a year of (financial) success, particularly in my business. Yet I look back and I don't feel that it was (financially) successful. And writing this here, in public makes it even harder to admit that: I'm not where I want to be.
In 2015 I learnt to redefine success for myself. I understood that the success I was chasing was the "wrong" type of success. I thought of as success being primarily financial success. A type of success defined by numbers and money on my bank account. The kind of success that most of us are told we should strive for.
Don't get me wrong, I love money and I desire to make a lot of it. But not at all costs.
At one point in my life, when still an employee, I earned a very high salary. I never checked my bank account because I knew I could most likely afford it anyway. And guess what? I could afford a lot, more than most people my age (I was 26 at the time earning approx. 10,000 dollars a month) but I was not happy. In fact I was pretty miserable.
When I left that life behind in 2013 to follow my true path, I realised that what I wanted was to live was an extraordinary life. A life worth remembering. A life without regrets. I wanted to be successful, but success defined on my own terms.
So what does an extraordinary life look like? Well I can only say: it's what you want it to look like.
For me, an extraordinary life is one where I can truly be myself in all areas of my life. It's a life where I get to grow, explore and develop myself as I go along. It's a life where I get to do what I love, with people that inspire me. It's a life where I get to follow my vision and dream big. And it's a life of adventure, travel, inspiration and curiosity. A life centered around healing myself, the planet and moving to a higher level of evolution and possibility.
For me freedom is at the core of everything that I do. Except when I get pulled into needing others to approve of my dreams again, of worrying what others think of me. That's when I exchange my number one value freedom, for other less important values like security, approval or recognition. That's when I get trapped in the daily rat race, that's when I end up giving up on my dreams or buying into the lie that „you cannot have what you truly desire".
I must admit: pursuing an extraordinary life scares me. Not because I don't believe I can achieve it. But because of all the steps it requires, the responsibility it demands of MYSELF to do what it takes to get there. It requires constant up-levelling, working on myself, stepping out of my „familiarity" zone, saying goodbye to what no-longer serves me and embracing the unknown. Consistently.
Extraordinary living, or the pursuit of it, is not a comfortable ride. It's uncomfortable, it's scary, because you are carving a new path for yourself, a path untrodden by most, undefined and definitely not linear. There is no "A to B" map to get there. And failing is part of that journey. And when failure is one of your number one things you avoid at all costs -- because hey, it could make you look like a fraud -- then the resistance experienced can be so intense that we end up not pursuing our dreams, staying stuck within our comfort zone. Before we know it another year has gone by and our dreams still feel like light years away.
If you are one of those free-spirits out there wondering whether to set resolutions for 2016 or whether you might as well not bother because: you have failed too many times or you have stayed stuck in fear, know this:
Don't set resolutions. Get clear on your values. Set dreams. Follow them and never give up. Fail once. Fail again. Fail some more. It's fucking scary. But extraordinary is called extraordinary because it's a life outside of the ordinary. It requires going that "extra" mile that most people don't bother taking because of reasons I won't go into here.
Don't be ashamed of having failed. Don't be ashamed of the resolutions you did not achieve. But most importantly: don't be ashamed of wanting to live an extraordinary life.
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As the end of the year is nearing it feels only natural to contemplate on what was, and focus on what may be. I say maybe because, a lot of us write down our list of resolutions for the coming year, yet a lot of them remain unfulfilled dreams yet to go on our list of "resolutions" a year later.
The other day when I was having one of those moments of contemplation again I realized that I hadn't achieved a lot of the goals I set myself for 2015. I wanted 2015 to be a year of (financial) success, particularly in my business. Yet I look back and I don't feel that it was (financially) successful. And writing this here, in public makes it even harder to admit that: I'm not where I want to be.
In 2015 I learnt to redefine success for myself. I understood that the success I was chasing was the "wrong" type of success. I thought of as success being primarily financial success. A type of success defined by numbers and money on my bank account. The kind of success that most of us are told we should strive for.
Don't get me wrong, I love money and I desire to make a lot of it. But not at all costs.
At one point in my life, when still an employee, I earned a very high salary. I never checked my bank account because I knew I could most likely afford it anyway. And guess what? I could afford a lot, more than most people my age (I was 26 at the time earning approx. 10,000 dollars a month) but I was not happy. In fact I was pretty miserable.
When I left that life behind in 2013 to follow my true path, I realised that what I wanted was to live was an extraordinary life. A life worth remembering. A life without regrets. I wanted to be successful, but success defined on my own terms.
So what does an extraordinary life look like? Well I can only say: it's what you want it to look like.
For me, an extraordinary life is one where I can truly be myself in all areas of my life. It's a life where I get to grow, explore and develop myself as I go along. It's a life where I get to do what I love, with people that inspire me. It's a life where I get to follow my vision and dream big. And it's a life of adventure, travel, inspiration and curiosity. A life centered around healing myself, the planet and moving to a higher level of evolution and possibility.
For me freedom is at the core of everything that I do. Except when I get pulled into needing others to approve of my dreams again, of worrying what others think of me. That's when I exchange my number one value freedom, for other less important values like security, approval or recognition. That's when I get trapped in the daily rat race, that's when I end up giving up on my dreams or buying into the lie that „you cannot have what you truly desire".
I must admit: pursuing an extraordinary life scares me. Not because I don't believe I can achieve it. But because of all the steps it requires, the responsibility it demands of MYSELF to do what it takes to get there. It requires constant up-levelling, working on myself, stepping out of my „familiarity" zone, saying goodbye to what no-longer serves me and embracing the unknown. Consistently.
Extraordinary living, or the pursuit of it, is not a comfortable ride. It's uncomfortable, it's scary, because you are carving a new path for yourself, a path untrodden by most, undefined and definitely not linear. There is no "A to B" map to get there. And failing is part of that journey. And when failure is one of your number one things you avoid at all costs -- because hey, it could make you look like a fraud -- then the resistance experienced can be so intense that we end up not pursuing our dreams, staying stuck within our comfort zone. Before we know it another year has gone by and our dreams still feel like light years away.
If you are one of those free-spirits out there wondering whether to set resolutions for 2016 or whether you might as well not bother because: you have failed too many times or you have stayed stuck in fear, know this:
Don't set resolutions. Get clear on your values. Set dreams. Follow them and never give up. Fail once. Fail again. Fail some more. It's fucking scary. But extraordinary is called extraordinary because it's a life outside of the ordinary. It requires going that "extra" mile that most people don't bother taking because of reasons I won't go into here.
Don't be ashamed of having failed. Don't be ashamed of the resolutions you did not achieve. But most importantly: don't be ashamed of wanting to live an extraordinary life.
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